The writers for series 6 desperately need a hug.

But enough about that.

Where We Left Off: Chris was always ready for a good time. Maxxie and Anwar starred in a revival of The Odd Couple. Tony was a jerk to everyone, especially Michelle and Sid. He got a big dose of karma in the form of a bus. Cassie was a hot mess because of the tiresome love square. And Jal? No one ever saw her. This all about to change.

Series 2 kicks off with a shot of church and very dramatic organ music. Are we mourning the loss of the great Tony Stonem? No, it’s just Maxxie and he’s dancing his little heart out. After this performance of hip hop meets God, we learn that Tony is watching Maxxie’s rehearsal. Since his traumatic subdural hematoma and now that he’s mental, Tony is depending on his friends more than ever.

The last time Tony was holding something of Maxxie's, it didn't seem this sad and desperate.

Maxxie takes Tony to his home and we finally meet Maxxie’s parental units. (And his adorable dog Taz!) Maxxie’s mum tells Tony that she used to clean his home, look after him when he was younger. Tony doesn’t remember. Jackie Oliver’s conversation with Tony about his mother and “that nice girl” show us what his family, Michelle and Sid are doing after his accident.  Tony’s mother is a mess, Michelle is sluttier than ever, and Sid is avoiding Tony. (Though now Sid is in a long-distance relationship with Cassie, so that’s good.)

As for Tony’s other friends, Chris and Jal are being supportive. They arrive to shepherding Tony home from Maxxie’s (and hilariously spy of Jackie helping Tony use the bathroom). Anwar continues to be the lovable goof that he is.

Effy continues to be awesome while breaking the fourth wall.

This episode, in addition to catching us up on Tony’s condition, thankfully shows us Maxxie’s home life. Unlike the other characters, we never got a glimpse of his family during the first season. Maxxie has a generally good, stable life. The one point of contention is Maxxie’s desire to drop his A levels and audition for musicals in London. His father, however, wants Maxxie to be a builder just like him. Cue a fight, swearing, and door slamming.

The boy just wants to dance.

Over in Tony land, which is not as mysterious and conniving as it used to be, Tony is upset that he can’t go to a party with his mates. He’s upset that he can’t use a knife and fork properly. He’s upset that he can’t write his name. He’s upset that Sid is avoiding him. Skins, why are you making me feel bad for Tony?

Poor guy.

Fortunately, Maxxie is better than everyone else and knows how to help Tony. By telling him to ignore his constraints and come out. Everyone else, especially his parents, are being too careful around Tony. He just needs a push to become like his old self. I’m not sure a Skins party is the best place but there are worse things that could happen. I think.

As expected, everything is happening at this party. Laser lights. Dancing. Jal finds new ways to remind her male friends about her ovaries. Michelle gets her harlot on. Sid acquires Scottish inspired dance moves. And Tony arrives to meet his new old girlfriend Abigail.

Girl, I have not missed you.

What do you have to say about this Effy?

He can't place you.

Effy manages to find some random dude’s mouth and lose her brother rather quickly. Typical Effy. Tony is thrown into a mosh pit of glow stick death. Maxxie attempts to rescue him but Tony vanishes. Maxxie looks for Tony outside when he is surrounded by a group of guys, taunting (“Gay boy!”) and chasing him.  One guy, named Dale, tackles Maxxie. Just as you think things are going to take a turn for the worst, they don’t. Turns out Dale is secretly gay and that is why he always beats up on Maxxie. Of course.

This is always happening to Maxxie.

Meanwhile, Sid and Michelle find something to do other than look sad and lonely. They talk about being sad and lonely. Tony’s accident messed them both up and it hurts them too much to be around Tony. Michelle can’t get over that Tony said “I love you” moments before he was hit by a bus and that he probably doesn’t remember. Tony overhears them and promises “I will remember everything.”

Ninja Tony

The next morning (apparently this party happened the night before college started) Maxxie finds Tony alone and lost in front of his home. (“Where do I fucking live?”) This entire episode Maxxie has been the only friend willing to help Tony. Even Effy is too concerned with being Effy to get involved.

Maxxie and his father resolves their issues and come to an agreement. Maxxie will finish college and then he can go audition in London.

So after you’ve partied the night away there is one last thing do before college starts. If you’re Maxxie, this means helping your friend write his name. “Close your eyes and dance it.”

Success

Odds and Ends from Tony and Maxxie:

Best Line: This episode of was less quippy than normal. I did love what Walter Oliver said to Maxxie: “You’re everything I got to show for my life and I’m not ready to let you go because I fucking love you too much.” I’m a sucker for a sentimental dad.

Best Exchange: When Jal sets Anwar straight about his new appearance: ”Why are you dressed as a crack dealer?” “Think it’s too much?” “If I’d just met you Anwar, I’d rather slit my wrists than give you one.”

It was necessary.

Best Song: Grizzly Bear “Knife”. It’s heard throughout. It illustrates Tony and Maxxie’s newfound friendship.

Best Foreshadowing: Who was taking pictures of Maxxie during his dance routine? Who was spying on him in the stairwell? Probably some sketchy person who will have no relevance on the rest of the season.

Best Canine Companion: Maxxie’s dog Taz is the cutest!

Best Parental Moment: Between standing up for Maxxie against some local bullies, sharing a drink with Tony’s dad (the parents on Skins almost never associate with one another) and eventually compromising with his son, Walter Oliver gets a piece of Sory cake.

Number of Jal Spottings: A bunch.

Couple alert! We're on Jal and Chris watch for the rest of series 2.

Here is what I watched this week.

A Better Life (dir. Chris Weitz, 2011)

A Better Life is the kind of film I was destined to appreciate. Demián Bichir gives a great performance as an illegal immigrant trying to achieve his version of the American Dream. This is an interesting companion film to 2007′s The Visitor and when I actually start working on my Thesis Redux project, I will add A Better Life to the mix.

The Grifters (dir. Stephen Frears, 1990)

I watched this just for Anjelica Huston’s performance. She is fantastic.

Now, Voyager (dir. Irving Rapper, 1942)

Now, Voyager is a fantastic melodrama and Bette Davis’ performance as a transformed spinster is powerful. You’ll crave a cigarette or two after watching this one. [Related Post: What I Learned From Now, Voyager]

2 Days in Paris (dir. Julie Delpy, 2007)

Julie Delpy’s directorial debut is a smart, romantic-comedy. I’m interested to see the sequel, 2 Days in New York. Chris Rock fills Adam Goldberg’s shoes as Delpy’s love interest.

Johnny Belinda (dir. Jean Negulesco, 1948)

The Treasure of the Sierra Madre (dir. John Huston, 1948)

So. Damn. Good. Every. Single. Time.

Contagion (dir. Steven Soderbergh, 2011)

I always knew that Gwyneth Paltrow would set off the end of the world. Aside from that (very obvious joke), this is a solid, nail-biting movie from Steven Soderbergh. And look! My predictions about Contagion kind of came true.

Gaslight (dir. George Cukor, 1944)

Last Night (dir. Massy Tadjedin, 2010)

Keira Knightley and Sam Worthington play Joanna and Michael, a young couple at a crossroads in their marriage. A night apart leads  Joanna to spend time with her flame (Guillaume Canet) and Michael to contemplate cheating with a co-worker (Eva Mendes). Watch this movie if you like Knightley; she’s the best part.

Somersault (dir. Cate Shortland, 2004)

Somersault is my favorite movie that I saw this past week. Abbie Cornish plays Heidi, a 16-year-old who runs away from home. She sexually confused and promiscuous. When she meets Joe (Sam Worthington) she tries to form a relationship with him but it has unfortunate consequences. Great story, great acting (especially by Cornish), and great direction.

On this week’s podcast, Ally and Joanna break down the Oscars race, Octavia Spencer’s facial expressions, preview Smash and more.

You can connect with the Ally and Joanna Show using all the groovy buttons below! Or shoot us an email at allyandjoannashow@gmail.com! Join us next week?

Now, Voyager is one of the great melodramas from the 1940s. It is an emotional roller coaster with Bette Davis delivering one of her best performances as Charlott Vale, a repressed, dowdy spinster who is controlled by her dominating mother (Gladys Cooper). A psychiatrist (Claude Rains) intervenes just as Charlotte is about to have a nervous breakdown and helps her transform into a more self-assured woman. Rather than return to her evil mother’s lair, Charlotte embarks on a cruise where she meets a married man, Jeremiah Duvaux Durrance (Paul Henreid) and the two begin a complicated romance. When Charlotte returns home, she must stand up to her mother while dealing with the lingering affects of her romance.

Here are some very important lessons we can learn from Now, Voyager.

1. Your mother doesn’t love you. So she keeps you around, financially supports you, belittles you, and slowly drives you insane.

Now, Voyager has helped me realize why I won’t be a bad parent. If I hated my child, my natural inclination would be to send them away so I wouldn’t have to look at them. But Mama Vale (Gladys Cooper) keeps Charlotte around so she can control everything Charlotte does from the clothes she wears to the books she reads. Most of all, Mama Vale wants to control Charlotte so that she doesn’t step out with some man.

Fun fact: While searching for pictures of Gladys Cooper, you will find a few pictures of Mo'Nique in Precious. Ponder that for a moment.

2. Pre-spinster Charlotte Vale was kind of a hussy.

Charlotte Vale goes through three stages: pre-spinster, crazy spinster, and sexy spinster. During her pre-spinster stage, Charlotte has an ill-fated romance with a cruise ship’s officer. Charlotte is convinced that she is in love. She even stops wearing her glasses. And because all hell will break loose once a woman stops wearing her glasses, Mama Vale immediately stops her daughter’s sexcapade and turns her daughter in a sexless, crazy spinster.

Unfortunately, pre-spinster Charlotte vale was also a fan of milkmaid braids.

3. Nervous breakdowns never looked this much fun.

I don’t know about you, but the sanatorium Charlotte gets sent to looks fun and relaxing. You can play tennis and take up weaving. By the end of your stay, you can get an awesome makeover and Claude Rains is your BFF.

4. Bette Davis pioneered the movie makeover long before The Breakfast Club ruined it. 

Charlotte Vale’s physical transformation is remarkable. Before she’s so unattractive, even her giant caterpillars eyebrows are trying to escape from her face.

Spinster on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown

But after some therapy and a major makeover, Charlotte is a total babe.

Nothing therapy can't buy you.

5. Boats. They’re a metaphor. A metaphor for sex. 

Who knew that cruises were the best place to get busy?

Everyone knows this. James Cameron made a movie about it.

6. Smoking is good for you.

It’s cruel how good smoking is for you in Now, Voyager.

7. Kind of kidnapping a child gets you closer to a man’s… heart.

Poor Tina Durrance. She’s unloved by her mother. She has unfortunate glasses. She’s been sent away to Dr. Jaquith’s sanatorium. Essentially she is a mini-Charlotte Vale. Since Charlotte has had enough therapy to be considered a licensed therapist, she becomes Tina’s surrogate mother. This has nothing to do with the fact that Charlotte is in love with Tina’s father and if Charlotte cares for Tina, she gets a perfect excuse to spend time with Jerry.

8. Spinsters get to have all the fun

Now, Voyager is yet another movie that has convinced me why being a spinster is awesome. You can take up crafting, go on cruises, wear fancy clothes, hang out with married men without anyone questioning it, and eventually become the surrogate mother to his emotionally unbalanced teenage daughter so you two can be together forever. That is, if you don’t have a crazy, manipulative mother.

You also get to smoke and smoking is awesome.

Here is what I watched this week.  (I’m beginning to see why Netflix keeps recommending me “films with strong female leads”.)

Trouble the Water (dir. Tia Lessin and Carl Deal, 2008)

The best documentaries follow larger-than-life individuals whose stories bring to the surface the very problems effecting everyday lives. There’s a reason why Time Magazine listed Kimberly Rivers Roberts as herself as one of the best performances from 2008.

Hunger (dir. Steve McQueen, 2008)

Michael Fassbender’s first collaboration with director Steve McQueen leaves you saying two words: “Holy. Crap.”

Maria Full of Grace (dir. Joshua Marston, 2004)

Catelina Sandino Moreno hasn’t appeared in many films since her breakthrough performance in Maria Full of Grace. But this is such a great role and performance, she doesn’t need too.<

Broken English (dir. Zoe Cassavetes, 2007)

Parker Posey is fantastic as Nora, an off-balance thirtysomething struggling with her relationships and career as all of her friends seem to be settling down. Posey’s performance is the only reason to watch this film. While rewatching this movie, I also realized why I recognized Melvil Poupaud (A Christmas Tale) and Jennifer Aniston’s latest boyfriend.

Girl, Interrupted (dir. James Mangold, 1999

Girl, Interrupted belongs to Angelina Jolie. She steals every scene she is in and the movie noticeably lags when Jolie isn’t on screen. I want Jolie, Winona Ryder, and Elisabeth Moss to have a Girl, Interrupted reunion and make a buddy film together.

Band of Angels (dir. Raoul Walsh, 1957)

Band of Angels has possibly my favorite tagline ever.

Margin Call (dir. J.C. Chandor, 2011)

I made a point to watch Margin Call after J.C. Chandor received an Oscar nomination for best original screenplay. This is an intense and gripping film with a fantastic ensemble cast (Kevin Spacey! Jeremy Irons! Zachary Quinto!) that has you sitting on the edge of your seat.

Reality Bites (dir. Ben Stiller, 1994)

I have a strange relationship with Reality Bites. I don’t particularly care for any of the characters yet I relate to so much of what this movie is about. I’m looking forward to not being able to relate to these characters.

Happy-Go-Lucky (dir. Mike Leigh, 2008)

Poppy is one of my favorite characters from a recent film and Sally Hawkins is a delight in this movie. I literally squealed when I realized it was on Netflix Instant and could finally watch it again.

Gosford Park (dir. Robert Altman, 2001)

I love this movie. It’s one of my favorites. It took me far too long to realize that Julian Fellowes wrote it.

No Strings Attached (dir. Ivan Reitman, 2011)

I have no idea why I watched this again. Probably because I was cleaning and wanted some background noise.

I have a theory about What To Expect When You’re Expecting, which hits theaters in May. It is just like New Year’s Eve or Valentine’s Day (hello, ensemble casts) except it is a far more humiliating movie for all of the actresses involved.

The character posters for What To Expect When You’re Expecting don’t do any of these theoretically talented women any favors. (Sorry. I won’t accept this idea that Brooklyn Decker is an actress.) The posters play into terrible stereotypes, recycle the bad jokes about pregnancy, and are just embarrassing for everyone involved. Especially us. We have to look at them.

Cameron Diaz as Jules.

Of course there is a joke about how good your rack looks when you’re pregnant. This poster is hinting at the fact that Jules got “knocked up” unexpectedly. Actually, I know this is true because Matthew Morrison said in some interview recently that he is the baby daddy. I’ll wait while you laugh at the thought of Matthew Morrison impregnating Cameron Diaz.

Elizabeth Banks as Wendy

On Wikipedia, Wendy is described as “”author and owner of The Breast Choice boutique who is militant in her beliefs about what makes a good mother until she gets pregnant for the first time.” If this character is not a blatant parody of Megyn “I Love Maternity Leave” Kelly, then she serves no purpose.

Anna Kenrick as Rosie

Given Rosie’s young age and taste in jewelry, I’m assuming that she is a careless harlot who never heard of birth control. How else could a woman under thirty end up pregnant? Her pregnancy probably also derails any of her career ambitions because women under thirty can’t be successful and single mothers. (Please let this be Anna Kendrick’s one bad post-Oscar nomination role.)

Brooklyn Decker as Skyler

Wikipedia tells me that Skyler is married to a much older man, who is played by Dennis Quaid. Of course she is. I bet his children from his first marriage hate her and her crazy horniness causes her older husband to have a heart attack.  And since when is Brooklyn Decker famous enough to get her own character poster? Reminding us that Andy Roddick used to be a tennis player doesn’t make her a movie star.

Jennifer Lopez as Holly

Since this is a movie about pregnancy, there has to be a barren woman who is fixated on adopting a baby. Holly is so obsessed with adoption, she doesn’t realize that her husband isn’t ready for a child. But she’ll plow through and adopt as a single mother so the audience can feel less sorry for her. I mean, look at this poster. Her empty womb makes us feel bad for Holly because not being able to carry a child of your own is a woman’s greatest failure. That and if you give birth Kevin from We Need To Talk About Kevin. It’s always the woman’s fault.

Earlier this morning the nominations for the 84th Annual Academy Awards were announced. Hugo received 11 nominations while The Artist received 10. As usual, there were snubs (sorry Albert Brooks and Tilda Swinton) and surprises (GARY OLDMAN).

Some of the nominations have left me furious and the Best Picture nomination for Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close has made me throw things. Gary Oldman’s nomination as well as two other nominations for Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy only slightly quell my rage. I’m also crushed that we won’t get to see which Haider Ackermann pantsuit Tilda Swinton was going to wear to the Oscars. And can someone please explain to me how and why only two songs were nominated for Best Song? The voting rules for that category need to be addressed.  The complete list of nominees is here and my snap judgments are below. Share your thoughts in the comments.

Best Picture
The Artist
The Descendants
Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close
Hugo
Midnight in Paris
Moneyball
The Tree of Life
War Horse

I’m excited to see the inclusion of The Tree of Life. That is an unexpected but welcomed surprise.

I see every Best Picture nominee every year. I’m willing to see War Horse but there is no way I’m seeing Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close. [Read this if you want to know exactly why I refuse to see this movie.]

Best Director
Woody Allen – Midnight in Paris
Michel Hazanavicius – The Artist
Alexander Payne – The Descendants
Martin Scorsese – Hugo
Terrence Malick – The Tree of Life

Happy to see the nomination for Terrence Malick.

Best Actor
Demián Bichir – A Better Life
George Clooney – The Descendants
Jean Dujardin – The Artist
Gary Oldman – Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy
Brad Pitt – Moneyball

GARY OLDMAN. GARY OLDMAN. GARY OLDMAN.

Am I okay with Michael Fassbender being left off the list? Not really, but Gary Oldman’s nomination balances it out. I am, however, ecstatic that Leonardo DiCaprio was not included. (Sorry Leo.)

Best Actress
Glenn Close – Albert Nobbs
Viola Davis – The Help
Rooney Mara – The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo
Meryl Streep – The Iron Lady
Michelle Williams – My Week With Marilyn

Tilda Swinton was overlooked in favor of Rooney Mara. Sigh. Gary Oldman still got nominated so I’ll live.

Best Supporting Actor
Kenneth Branagh – My Week with Marilyn
Jonah Hill – Moneyball
Nick Nolte – Warrior
Christopher Plummer – Beginners
Max von Sydow – Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close

Do you hear that sound? It is the cries of crushed Drive fanatics everywhere. I expected Albert Brooks to be overlooked; I dealt with those emotions months ago. 2011 was also a great year to be old and legendary.

Best Supporting Actress
Berenice Bejo – The Artist
Jessica Chastain – The Help
Melissa McCarthy – Bridesmaids
Janet McTeer – Albert Nobbs
Octavia Spencer – The Help

Melissa McCarthy! Every other nomination was predicted months ago.

Best Adapted Screenplay
The Descendants
Hugo
The Ides of March
Moneyball
Tinker Tailor Solider Spy

Tinker Tailor Solider Spy deserves the award just for having Colin Firth utter the word, “Be-linda.”

Best Original Screenplay
The Artist
Bridesmaids
Margin Call
Midnight in Paris
A Separation

Excited to see nominations for A Separation and Bridesmaids. Man, I hope A Separation wins.

Best Animated Film
A Cat in Paris
Chico & Rita
Kung Fu Panda 2
Puss in Boots
Rango

There’s a Kung Fu Panda 2? Puss in Boots is the Antonio Banderas movie with a nomination and not The Skin I Live In? Why have I not seen Rango yet? This category perplexes me.

Best Foreign Language Film
Belgium, “Bullhead” – Michael R. Roskam, director
Canada, “Monsieur Lazhar” – Philippe Falardeau, director
Iran, “A Separation” – Asghar Farhadi, director
Israel, “Footnote” – Joseph Cedar, director
Poland, “In Darkness” – Agnieszka Holland, director

I’ve only seen A Separation so far but I am doing the biggest dance because of it’s nomination right now.

Here is what I watched. Some wild Downton Abbey theorizing and Ted Mosby bashing follows.

Tiny Furniture (dir. Lena Dunham, 2010)

Lena Dunham might be the voice of her generation which is apparently my generation. Her new HBO show “Girls” (watch the trailer here) premieres on April 15. I’m either going to love this show or absolutely hate it. (I was somewhere in the middle with Tiny Furniture.)

Another Earth (dir. Mike Cahill, 2011)

Another Earth is an interesting companion film to The Tree of Life and Melancholia. It tackles the same themes while being less of an overreaching art film.

Beauty and the Beast (dir.  Gary Trousdale and Kirk Wise, 1991)

It’s a tale as old as time! In 3D! It was a magical and it all relates to Downton Abbey. (Seriously, it does.)

Desk Set (dir. Walter Lang, 1957)

Another Katharine Hepburn-Spencer Tracy film that just makes me giddy.

My Beautiful Laundrette (dir. Stephen Frears, 1985)

Possibly my favorite Stephen Frears movie.

The Strange Case of Angelica (dir. Manoel de Oliveira, 2010)

I love Manoel de Oliveira’s films and this is no exception. The Strange Case of Angelica is charming, funny, and mystifying. He’s also an adorable old man.

happythankyoumoreplease (dir. Josh Radnor, 2010)

Ted Mosby made a movie. It’s not that good. I wanted Marshall and Lily to smack some sense into these awful characters.

Love Me Tender (dir. Robert D. Webb, 1956)

In his first movie, Elvis plays Clint Reno, the youngest of four brothers who stays home during the Civil War to care for his mother and family farm. When one brother, Vance (Richard Egan) is mistakenly reported as killed, Clint marries his brother’s girl. Drama ensues. Elvis sings. I tried hard not to laugh.

Submarine (dir. Richard Ayoade, 2010)

A quirky, entertaining coming-of-age film.

A Separation (dir. Asghar Farhadi, 2011)

This is one of the best familial dramas I have ever seen.

Far From Heaven (dir. Todd Haynes, 2002)

I hadn’t seen Far From Heaven since I was about 14 and now I have mixed feelings about it. Stylistically, it’s great and Julianne Moore is fantastic, but something about it doesn’t hold up. Or maybe, Mad Men has left me jaded.

When I saw Beauty and the Beast (in 3D! It was magical!) yesterday, a brilliant thought crossed my mind. Every servant in Beauty in the Beast is the animated version of every servant in Downton Abbey. So naturally, I wasted hours photoshopping pictures and shared them on Tumblr. The photo set has been received more notes than I ever expected, making me realize “Crap, maybe I should I explain my reasonings.”

So here they are: Every servant in Beauty and the Beast as a servant on Downton Abbey.

Carson and Mr. Carson

Cogsworth is the “very serious” servant who is loyal to the Beast and (tries to) control the servants. Just like Carson. Cogsworth also has a flair for dramatics. Just like Carson.

Lumiere and Bates

This is the most questioned comparison. “Oh, Mr. Bates is not Lumiere. Lumiere is Thomas.” (I said that in Ricky Gervais’ voice, by the way.) Although their personalities don’t quite fit, Lumiere is Bates. Neither is particurly conniving, they’re loyal, and they are in love with Fifi (Anna).

Fifi and Anna

Because they are both maids and have a relationship with Lumiere (Bates). Bates would save Anna from being plucked by a villager. (That’s what she said.)

Mrs Potts and Mrs Patmore

Mrs. Potts and Mrs. Patmore are exactly the same person. Sometimes I forget that Lesley Nicol plays Patmore and not Angela Lansbury.

Chip and Daisy

Daisy is not Mrs. Patmore’s child but they have a very obvious mother-child relationship. Especially when it comes to dealing with Daisy’s relationship with William.

Wardrobe and Mrs. Hughes

While Mrs. Potts gets to sing all the songs, the Wardrobe is the lady-in-waiting. She runs the household and comforts Belle in her time of need. And if Downton Abbey ever came under attack, Mrs. Hughes would kick some serious ass. (The Wardrobe could also be O’Brien. But I don’t like O’Brien.)

Forte and Thomas

In Beauty and the Beast no servant is evil enough to be Thomas. Cogsworth and company just want to be human again! Thank goodness Disney made those sequels no one watches. Forte is the main antagonist in Beauty and the Beast: The Enchanted Christmas. He enjoys being a giant pipe organ and being the Beast’s main confidante. Naturally, Forte tries to ruin Belle and the Beast’s relationship and fails miserably. So Forte is Thomas, with a dash of O’Brien. (But I don’t like O’Brien.)

This leaves one question: Which Beauty and the Beast servant is O’Brien? Let me know in the comments.

But geeze, the Golden Globes were boring this year. I dozed off several times. Something was missing and it wasn’t just Mandy Patinkin’s beard. To be fair, it was a fitting ceremony given the serious lack of exciting film nominees… and the serious lack of exciting films in 2011. (I’m really not hyped about any movies this awards season.) Thank goodness for drunken celebrities. They are single reason to watch the Globes each year and some stars really brought their A-game.

Meryl Streep

Somehow Meryl is shocked that she won even though she wins a Golden Globe practically every year. Look at Don’s face. It says what we all are thinking: “Bitch, please.”

Tilda Swinton

Tilda Swinton covered her face when Colin Firth read her name. Fortunately, Rob Lowe was there.

Dustin Hoffman

Dustin Hoffman could care less about all of you.

Nicole Kidman

Her face is so frozen.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt

No, JGL isn’t being goofy. This is his mating call with Zooey Deschanel. Also, the 50/50-Beginners table was probably the party table.

Ben Kingsley

Ben Kingley is wasted. Whatever. He’s Sir Ben Kingsley. He can do whatever the hell he wants.

Uggie

Uggie should accept all of the awards for The Artist. Only then I will accept its inevitable best picture win.

And  my favorite awkward pan and lingering shot of the night happened as Julian Fellowes accepted the award for Best Miniseries:

The Americans are coming!

Rob Lowe and Julianne Moore are joining the cast of Downton Abbey for the third season.