My Academy Awards Recap

I’m sorry that I’m posting this so late in the day, but what can you do?

The Academy Awards 2007 have come and gone. This year’s ceremony was by far my favorite that I’ve seen in a while.

I didn’t think it was too long (then again the Oscars could go on for 12 hours and I wouldn’t care).
I enjoyed not having the Supporting Acting races in the beginning because it forced people to pay attention to the awards that are actually important.

And Ellen DeGeneres did a great job. She did what she does best; she was Ellen DeGeneres. Who cares if she didn’t mention any of the movies in the opening monologue,she didn’t have to. She provided enough entertaining moments throughout the show to make me want her to host again.

Of course, there were plenty of perfect moments that made this year’s Oscars really shine.

Alas I will also remember it as the year-I-had-to-watch-the-Academy-Awards-with-twenty-plus-females-who-thought-they-know-every-thing-about-movies-but-have-absolutely-no-respect-for-the-Oscars. AND the year that I came incredibly close to killing these twenty plus females (except for Ruth, of course). I will be ranting A LOT about them.

So here it goes.

My thoughts as I watched the Academy Awards with 20 plus females who don’t know it, but they almost died last night.

OR
What happens when Cinefille gets mad

7:30 — I look at the clock. Only an hour to go and why is this two page paper taking me forever to write. Oh right, I have Oscar-itis.

7:45 I stroll down to the TV room. Little do I know that I will grow to hate to room in a matter of 4 hours and 15 minutes.

8:00 — I am joined by the first of many people to walk in and out of the room during the telecast. Really annoying girls #1 and #2 arrive. (I will now refer to them as RAG1 and RAG2.)

8:12 — Boring red carpet on NBC. OMG! DID YOU SEE PENELOPE CRUZ’S DRESS!!!! [source]

8:03 — Two things: Naomi Watts is pregnant and Nicole Kidman looks like she attached a bow to her head. [source]

8:27 — ONLY 3 MINUTES!

8:30 — RAG#1 “Every one talking ceases now!”.

8:36 — The introduction saluting the nominees was fantastic. I love Peter O’Toole!

8:43 — I actually liked Ellen’s monologue. Maybe it’s because I was a room full of lesbians. RAG#1 “I wish they wouldn’t have a comedian host. It takes away from the seriousness of the event.”

8:45 — Apparently Dreamgirls is now Dreamgowls. Nicole Kidman, since when did you come from my homeland?

8:46 — First Award goes to Pan’s Labyrinth for Art Direction. They are switching it up this year. I like it!

8:48 — If there is one thing I hate, it is the speech about the Sci. Tech. Awards. Have some energy Maggie Gyllenhaal! Act like you care!

8:50 — MONTAGE TIME! Oh dammit. It’s some rolling people. WTF? I want to see a montage.

8:54 — Will Ferrell, Jack Black, and John C Reilly = hilarious. (Sorry, there is a french translation going on at the same time).

8:58 — Award: Best Makeup to Pan’s Labyrinth. “It’s Mexican Oscar domination!” — the only worthwhile statement made one of the RAGs all night. Wait, RAG#1 is talking during the acceptance speech. I thought all talking ceased at the start of the show or can your brain not remember what you said an hour ago?

9:00 — Abigail Breslin and Jaden Smith presenting awards. Jaden is clearly inherited his father’s humor. [source] Best Animated Short – The Danish Poet, Best Live Action Short – West Bank Story

9:13 — I found a youtube video of the sound effects choir, although I could have done without it.

9:15 — Best Sound Editing goes to Letters from Iwo Jima. So, it’s not winning Best Picture.

9:18 — Best Sound Mixing goes to Dreamgirls. It’s not getting completely shut out!

9:21 — Best Supporting Actor goes to …. ALAN ARKIN!!!!!!!!!!! “Wow I didn’t expect that,” said a girl who thought Mark Wahlberg (?) was going to win. I feel kind of bad for Eddie Murphy. But hey, good performances stand the test of time, Oscar or not. I love how Arkin put the award on the floor. Whatevs, you deserve it! [source]

9:31 — Best Song nominees are performing. “36 Mafia where are you?”, cries out RAG#1.

9:39 — Um, Al Gore is awesome! Seriously, the Oscars belonged to him. Go see An Inconvenient Truth now.

9:42 — Happy Feet?!?!? Best Animated Feature?!?!?!?!?!? Ugh!

9:46 – MONTAGE TIME! This one is about screenwriting in films. I love the Oscar montages.

9:49 — Adapted Screenplay goes to The Departed. Worst speech of the night, but I forgive you. You’re not a RAG William Monahan.

10:02 — Best Costume Design goes to Marie Antoinette (yay!). And I made a girl cry when I defended this movie. RAG was v. excited, she adored Marie Antoinette.

10:08 — Jean Hersholt Award presented by Tom Cruise. How ironic.

10:12 — Best Cinematograhy goes to Pan’s Labyrinth. (I am so excited)

10:22 — NAOMI WATTS YOU ARE PREGNANT! JUST ADMIT IT! Oh, Best Visual Effects goes to Pirates of the Carribbean.

10:25 — MONTAGE TIME! Foreign language films! RAG#1 sqeals with delight when she sees an All About My Mother clip. By this point, I am ready to strangle her because she is acting as though she knows everything about movies and the Oscars, but in fact, she is stupid and knows only maybe the last 10 years of good movies. Plus she HAS NOT STOPPED TALKING!

10:31 — Best Foreign Language Film goes to The Lives of Others. I saw that one coming. Oh well, Pan’s Labyrinth is still one of the big winners of the night. [source]

1o:33 — J HUD wins Best Supporting Actress! I love her! A star is born really fits this moment!
10:42 — Best Documentary Short. I’m sorry, I don’t know who won. The RAGs were talking. AGAIN.

10:46 — Apparently Jerry Seinfeld told some funny jokes. I didn’t notice, the RAGs were still talking. Best Documentary Feature? An Inconvenient Truth! Go Al Gore! On another note: My Country, My Country, a documentary feature nominee, premiered at MHC last year. Pretty cool.
10:50 — Lifetime Achievement Award for Ennio Morricone. He has scored over 400 films?!?!? Wow! Why is Celine Dion singing a song? That was painful.
11:01 — His speech is in Italian. Everyone looks confused. Except Martin Scorsese. I understood most of it without Clint Eastwood’s translation! HAH! Oh, and the RAGs did not like this. Too foreign for their taste I suspect.
11:05 — Best Original Score is awarded to Babel. The same guy won last year for Brokeback Mountain. Good for him.

11:12 — Original screenplay is awarded to LMS. The funnest? You would think a screenwriter would have impeccable grammar.

11:20 — A Beyonce/ J Hud sing off! Awesome! Sigh, I love the Dreamgirls soundtrack. [source]

11:29 — Dreamgirls snubbed again! The 79th Academy Awards should be called the Green Oscars. Good for Melissa Etheridge.
11:35 — MONTAGE TIME! It was fantastic as always.

11:40 — Best Editing goes to Thelma Schoonmaker for The Departed! Woohoo!

11: 44 — In Memorium.. I always get so sad during this. RAG#1 starts to cry, then turns to RAG#2 and says, “Should I go into acting? I’m not really that sad, I just made myself sad.” RAG#2 tells her to go into acting. RAG#1, “Good, just checking.”

11:52 — Best Actress goes to HELEN MIRREN!!! Okay, I wasn’t that shocked. But totally thought Queen Elizabeth was going to rise out of the floor like Beyonce did during the Dreamgirls number.

12:01 — Best Actor goes to Forest Whitaker. I really wanted Peter O’Toole to win. He looked really upset.

12:06 — MARTIN SCORSESE WINS! I didn’t hear a word of his speech because of who else? The RAGs who spent a great deal commenting on how he a has a 7 year old daughter.

12:14 — Best Picture goes to The Departed. RAG#1 says: “Wow, it won Best Picture and Best Director!” Then FINALLY I respond, “Yeah, that’s usually how it works.” RAG#1 and RAG#2 exchange a look. I guess I’m out of line for correcting her.

—–

So that was my Academy Awards. Next year, I’m getting cable in my room or I’ll just start drinking if I have to watch the Oscars with 20 plus females EVER again.
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4 thoughts on “My Academy Awards Recap”

  1. I loved the part when Jack Black said “Helen Mirren, you’re just hot.” That was amazing. Helen Mirren is amazing. I love her. Both my friend and I yelled “FUCK!” when “Cars” didn’t win and when “Pan’s Labyrinth” didn’t win. I laughed out loud when Melissa Etheridge won and beat out “Dreamgirls” songs! It was a great night, all made better by Ellen, who was hilarious (giving Scorsese the screenplay!)

  2. “Cars” losing out was more unexpected than “Pan’s” not winning. But “Pan’s” still got the recognition it deserved.

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