I’m sorry that I’m posting this so late in the day, but what can you do?
The Academy Awards 2007 have come and gone. This year’s ceremony was by far my favorite that I’ve seen in a while.
Alas I will also remember it as the year-I-had-to-watch-the-Academy-Awards-with-twenty-plus-females-who-thought-they-know-every-thing-about-movies-but-have-absolutely-no-respect-for-the-Oscars. AND the year that I came incredibly close to killing these twenty plus females (except for Ruth, of course). I will be ranting A LOT about them.
So here it goes.
My thoughts as I watched the Academy Awards with 20 plus females who don’t know it, but they almost died last night.
7:30 — I look at the clock. Only an hour to go and why is this two page paper taking me forever to write. Oh right, I have Oscar-itis.
7:45 — I stroll down to the TV room. Little do I know that I will grow to hate to room in a matter of 4 hours and 15 minutes.
8:00 — I am joined by the first of many people to walk in and out of the room during the telecast. Really annoying girls #1 and #2 arrive. (I will now refer to them as RAG1 and RAG2.)
8:27 — ONLY 3 MINUTES!
8:30 — RAG#1 “Every one talking ceases now!”.
8:36 — The introduction saluting the nominees was fantastic. I love Peter O’Toole!
8:43 — I actually liked Ellen’s monologue. Maybe it’s because I was a room full of lesbians. RAG#1 “I wish they wouldn’t have a comedian host. It takes away from the seriousness of the event.”
8:45 — Apparently Dreamgirls is now Dreamgowls. Nicole Kidman, since when did you come from my homeland?
8:46 — First Award goes to Pan’s Labyrinth for Art Direction. They are switching it up this year. I like it!
8:48 — If there is one thing I hate, it is the speech about the Sci. Tech. Awards. Have some energy Maggie Gyllenhaal! Act like you care!
8:50 — MONTAGE TIME! Oh dammit. It’s some rolling people. WTF? I want to see a montage.
8:54 — Will Ferrell, Jack Black, and John C Reilly = hilarious. (Sorry, there is a french translation going on at the same time).
8:58 — Award: Best Makeup to Pan’s Labyrinth. “It’s Mexican Oscar domination!” — the only worthwhile statement made one of the RAGs all night. Wait, RAG#1 is talking during the acceptance speech. I thought all talking ceased at the start of the show or can your brain not remember what you said an hour ago?
9:00 — Abigail Breslin and Jaden Smith presenting awards. Jaden is clearly inherited his father’s humor. [source] Best Animated Short – The Danish Poet, Best Live Action Short – West Bank Story
9:13 — I found a youtube video of the sound effects choir, although I could have done without it.
9:15 — Best Sound Editing goes to Letters from Iwo Jima. So, it’s not winning Best Picture.
9:18 — Best Sound Mixing goes to Dreamgirls. It’s not getting completely shut out!
9:21 — Best Supporting Actor goes to …. ALAN ARKIN!!!!!!!!!!! “Wow I didn’t expect that,” said a girl who thought Mark Wahlberg (?) was going to win. I feel kind of bad for Eddie Murphy. But hey, good performances stand the test of time, Oscar or not. I love how Arkin put the award on the floor. Whatevs, you deserve it! [source]
9:31 — Best Song nominees are performing. “36 Mafia where are you?”, cries out RAG#1.
9:39 — Um, Al Gore is awesome! Seriously, the Oscars belonged to him. Go see An Inconvenient Truth now.
9:42 — Happy Feet?!?!? Best Animated Feature?!?!?!?!?!? Ugh!
9:46 – MONTAGE TIME! This one is about screenwriting in films. I love the Oscar montages.
9:49 — Adapted Screenplay goes to The Departed. Worst speech of the night, but I forgive you. You’re not a RAG William Monahan.
10:02 — Best Costume Design goes to Marie Antoinette (yay!). And I made a girl cry when I defended this movie. RAG was v. excited, she adored Marie Antoinette.
10:08 — Jean Hersholt Award presented by Tom Cruise. How ironic.
10:12 — Best Cinematograhy goes to Pan’s Labyrinth. (I am so excited)
10:22 — NAOMI WATTS YOU ARE PREGNANT! JUST ADMIT IT! Oh, Best Visual Effects goes to Pirates of the Carribbean.
10:25 — MONTAGE TIME! Foreign language films! RAG#1 sqeals with delight when she sees an All About My Mother clip. By this point, I am ready to strangle her because she is acting as though she knows everything about movies and the Oscars, but in fact, she is stupid and knows only maybe the last 10 years of good movies. Plus she HAS NOT STOPPED TALKING!
10:31 — Best Foreign Language Film goes to The Lives of Others. I saw that one coming. Oh well, Pan’s Labyrinth is still one of the big winners of the night. [source]
11: 44 — In Memorium.. I always get so sad during this. RAG#1 starts to cry, then turns to RAG#2 and says, “Should I go into acting? I’m not really that sad, I just made myself sad.” RAG#2 tells her to go into acting. RAG#1, “Good, just checking.”
@Cinefille 
short documentary was won by “The Blood of Yingzhou Ditrict”
just a fyi ;)
R
Fantastic! Thanks for letting me know.
I loved the part when Jack Black said “Helen Mirren, you’re just hot.” That was amazing. Helen Mirren is amazing. I love her. Both my friend and I yelled “FUCK!” when “Cars” didn’t win and when “Pan’s Labyrinth” didn’t win. I laughed out loud when Melissa Etheridge won and beat out “Dreamgirls” songs! It was a great night, all made better by Ellen, who was hilarious (giving Scorsese the screenplay!)
“Cars” losing out was more unexpected than “Pan’s” not winning. But “Pan’s” still got the recognition it deserved.