How would you improve the Oscars?

Entertainment Weekly asked past Oscar nominees and Hollywood legends how they would improve the Oscars. Here are my two favorite quotes:

From Nia Vardalos (My Big Fat Greek Wedding)

“The Oscars can be a little too stuffy for my liking. I’m for outlawing the sticky tape for women [to keep revealing dresses in place] because an errant boob would do wonders for the ratings. Everyone would tune in if they thought they might see Angelina Jolie’s breast fall out of her dress.”

From the criminally never-nominated John Waters:

“I loved the streaker and I think it is time we brought that back. An official streaker. I would designate somebody who, after their name is called, would start taking their clothes off on the way to the podium, That would be fun. They should also take a lesson from the Spirits and the Globes and let the booze flow freely. It loosens people up and makes for looser speeches.”

Well, I have figured out how to make the Oscars relevant again.

More John Waters.

Think about it. Waters definitely knows how to shock people. What if he got to produce a telecast? That seen-it-all before attitude about the Oscars would definitely not exist anymore because with Waters, you’ve never seen it all.

I know that this is highly unlikely, so Waters should instead edit a montage or two dedicated to camp or trash culture. I would love that


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