What These Six Character Posters Tell Us About Contagion

The more I see of Steven Soderbergh’s Contagion, the more excited I get. The movie centers around a growing airborne epidemic, the race to cure it, and the resulting panic. So, it is a jolly good time. Contagion is overloaded with star power. The trailer hints that this cast of many Oscar winners have brought their A-game and can deliver great sound bites (“Don’t talk to anyone. Don’t touch anyone”).

Along with this trailer that just sucks you in, character posters for the six main stars of the ensemble have been released. Just for some fun, I try to guess what these characters will get up to during Contagion.

Jude Law as Alan Krumwiede

He is British and he probably knows more about this disease than anyone else. But the Americans are unwilling listen to him. He is screwed.

Laurence Fishbourne as Dr. Ellis Cheever

He is black. He is some sort of doctor. He is screwed.

Gwyneth Paltrow as Beth Ernhoff

She is a housewife who does something frivolous just one time. She catches a disease and spreads it to others. (Women!) She dies a horrific death causing millions of women to rejoice because they always hated this elitist beotch.

Matt Damon as Thomas Emhoff

His wife dies. He is left with the kids. He is screwed. (See: Viggo Mortensen in The Road for a similar character.)

Marion Cotillard as Dr. Leonora Orantes

She is French or just vaguely European. She has an Amelie inspired haircut. She seems untrustworthy and scrappy. She is screwed.

Kate Winslet as Dr. Erin Mears

She is Kate Winslet. We will love her no matter what, especially if her character dies. (Yes, die! You’ll get an Oscar nomination!) She is less screwed than everyone else because everyone instantly loves her.