Once again, I’ve neglected this blog. As an apology, I’ve decided to write a new What I Learned From…
In the following post, I will reveal snarky insights about a popular movie. Several months from now, someone will stumble upon this post via the Google and think I am completely serious/clueless about the movie I’ve watched and what I’ve written. (Why else would a post on The Godfather – Part 3 from 2012 still get so much traffic?)
In anticipation of Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin’s new
Netflix series Aaron Sorkin inspired FanFiction Grace and Frankie, here is what I learned from 9 to 5.
1. Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin do not have a portmanteau. This is a crime.
Where would we be without the friendship between Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin? In far more terrible place than we are now.
2. National Treasure Dolly Parton
Doralee is the trashy secretary everyone assumes is sleeping with the boss. (He wishes.) But she’s really the glue that holds the group together. It’s no surprise that in her fantasy about how she offs her boss, Doralee is the John Wayne-inspired heroine. Bonus: She’s becomes a country western star and laughs all the way to the bank.
3. Marijuana is the gateway drug for women’s liberation
9 to 5 is on to something with these old-fashioned ladies’ pot parties where pissed off women fantasize about killing men. And conservatives don’t like it.
4. Stealing a corpse is improper.
Literally my favorite scene in 9 to 5 is when Violet, Judy and Doralee realize they’ve stolen the wrong body from the morgue. At this moment, I learned that etiquette is always important, even in the middle of covering up a crime you didn’t actually commit.
5. Put women in charge and everything changes
The world will be a terrible place with women in charge. How else will companies adopt new policies to please pot ladies like equal pay, day care, part-time hours, the freedom to put knickknacks on desks and colorful decor?
6. The story hasn’t changed.
When men enact a revenge fantasy against their bosses, they get sequels and a chance to solve the world’s problems. Women, however, have been selling the same fantasy about the workplace in movies and television for well over 30 years. The actresses change but the story doesn’t. Now we’re stuck with the Shailene Woodley’s of Hollywood as the “trailblazers” to tell the story and they are not feminists.