Category: Awful Character Posters

What These Character Posters Tell Us About The Great Gatsby

gatsby

It must be Christmastime because there are now character posters for Baz Luhrmann’s The Great Gatsby!

Because The Great Gatsby is one of those novels that every high school student in America reads, the character posters operate under the presumption that you know something about the book. So what do I know about The Great Gatsby? Basically, it’s set in New York, there are lavish parties, everyone is drunk, there is a billboard with creepy eyes that is a metaphor for a decaying society, and someone gets run over by a car. (Right? Right.)

As opposed to the many terrible character posters we saw this year, these posters have achieved something rather remarkable. They are slightly highbrow while also being wonderfully over-the-top. What else would you would expect from posters for a Baz Luhrmann movie? (Admire that trippy art-deco Mayan calendar-inspired background!) In sum, these posters are delightfully awful as opposed to tragically awful. Here’s why.

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What These Character Posters Tell Us About Breaking Dawn – Part 2

Surprisingly, these characters posters for Breaking Dawn – Part 2 are not terrible. But wait. There’s more.

For the first time in my life, I am grateful that Twilight exists. I have been struggling with a terrible case of writer’s block for a few weeks. Fortunately, I have been saved by the new character posters for The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2. These Breaking Dawn character posters are a glorious display of the Twilight Marketing Machine in action and they have given me a reason to blog again.

For starters, there are 23 posters. 23. I didn’t even know that The Twilight Saga had 23 characters who needed posters. (Are Michael Sheen and Dakota Fanning still around? If not, then I know absolutely nothing about this franchise anymore.) These posters introduce us to the vampire covens (and a nomad!) who appear in Breaking Dawn – Part 2 for reasons I don’t know. It probably something to do with Bella and Edward’s child. Unlike the character posters for the main trio (above), these 23 posters are boring. But they get bonus points for their excellent portrayal of ethnic minorities.

To illustrate how these Breaking Dawn character posters are simultaneously boring and terrible, here are some of my favorites. (I’m using that term loosely.)

Continue reading “What These Character Posters Tell Us About Breaking Dawn – Part 2”

What These Character Posters Tell Us About Dark Shadows

There is nothing I love more than character posters because they are usually the worst thing ever. Need proof? Remember the character posters for What To Expect When You’re Expecting? They are awful. The posters for The Hunger Games? Also terrible. (Mostly because we’ve inundated by promotional material for The Hunger Games since November.)

So today the character posters for Dark Shadows, the latest Tim Burton-Johnny Depp collaboration, hit the Internet. These posters are quite…neon. This doesn’t bother me because I love neon like Justine from Melancholia loves the apocalypse. I know nothing about Dark Shadows except that it is about supernatural beings, Johnny Depp is a vampire, and the trailer disappointed everyone. This is more than enough information for me to judge these posters.

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What These Character Posters Tell Us About What To Expect When You’re Expecting

I have a theory about What To Expect When You’re Expecting, which hits theaters in May. It is just like New Year’s Eve or Valentine’s Day (hello, ensemble casts) except it is a far more humiliating movie for all of the actresses involved.

The character posters for What To Expect When You’re Expecting don’t do any of these theoretically talented women any favors. (Sorry. I won’t accept this idea that Brooklyn Decker is an actress.) The posters play into terrible stereotypes, recycle the bad jokes about pregnancy, and are just embarrassing for everyone involved. Especially us. We have to look at them.

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What These Character Posters Tell Us About The Hunger Games

I continue my one-woman war against dumb character posters by taking a look at The Hunger Games posters that were released last week.  Now, these character posters are a good idea for The Hunger Games because Katniss and company are characters for more than one book/movie. There is already a built-in fan base who know what to expect.

But just barely. Because these posters are terrible. We only see the profiles of the characters, which doesn’t draw you in at all. It only confuses you more and you can’t determine anything remotely interesting about these characters. If these posters are supposed to interest me in The Hunger Games, they failed miserably.

Disclaimer: I know nothing about The Hunger Games. I haven’t read the books and I am assuming that they are some sort of sci-fi series filled with angst-ridden teenagers. So I apologize to any of the die hard fans out there reading this.

Here it goes. Enjoy.  Continue reading “What These Character Posters Tell Us About The Hunger Games”