My Year-Long Saga Of Being Inexplicably Obsessed With Jeremy Renner

For the last year, Jeremy Renner ruined my life.
This is the story of how Jeremy Renner ruined my life.

Something happened to me last May. I became obsessed with Jeremy Renner and it took over my life. More times then I should probably admit, I turned into a crazed fangirl. I wasted hours of my life scouring the abyss of the Internet for undiscovered information about Renner. For no logical reason. It was just as inexplicable and ridiculous as my Orlando Bloom obsession circa 2003. Except in 2003, I was 14 and could barely use the Internet.

Around December I accepted that I had a problem. So I started making notes of every strange thing I did as I trolled the Internet. Because the most sensible way to get over your fake relationship with a celebrity is to publicly shame yourself.

So here is what happened. This is exactly like what went down with Odysseus and those Sirens.

Continue reading “My Year-Long Saga Of Being Inexplicably Obsessed With Jeremy Renner”

The Elvis Files: One Direction Dances To The Jailhouse Rock

one direction

Only One Direction could distract me from writing about Blue Hawaii. I’ve been so intrigued by the British boy band’s latest music video “Kiss You” that I have been unable to finish the post. (I’m probably also procrastinating.) If you don’t hang out with tween girls, then you most likely haven’t watched this video. Here it is.

Continue reading “The Elvis Files: One Direction Dances To The Jailhouse Rock”

Anatomy Of A Pointless Celebrity Gossip Story

Disclaimer: I have no idea why I’m writing this post. Am I suddenly a cultural commentator invested in tabloid journalism? Am I bored? Am I just morbidly curious because an actor I like is at the center of this non-scandal? (Answers: No, yes, and maybe.) Anyways, here it goes. Continue reading “Anatomy Of A Pointless Celebrity Gossip Story”