8:30 – The Academy Awards are starting! Here comes Hugh Jackman!!
8:32 – Jackman on the Academy cutting back this year because of the recession: “Next year I will starring in a film called New Zealand.” Fred, who studied abroad in New Zealand last semester, flipped out at this.
8:33 – Shocker. He is going to sing and dance.
8:38 – OMG! HUGH JACKMAN is fantastic. Can he do this every year?
8:40 – “I’m just contractually obligated to mention them 5 times”. Jackman on Brangelina.
8:42 – The montage of Best Supporting Actresses is going on too long. OH! There’s a reason! Eva Marie Saint, Whoopi Goldberg, Goldie Hawn, Tilda Swinton, and Angelica Huston are all presenting! Are they allowed to move from that awkward half circle?
8:45 – I love Whoopi Goldberg. “It isn’t easy being a nun.”
8:46 – Since they are clearly going to do this for every category (acting category at least), do we like it? It’s more personal than a video tribute. I like that.
8:47 – Penelope Cruz wins! “It’s not going to be 45 seconds, I can say that right now. Has anybody ever fainted here? Because I might be the first one.” She thanks Woody Allen and Pedro Almodovar for creating great female characers. So true. “Art is our universal language”. That was an AMAZING speach.
8:52 – And we’re back. I really am enjoying this intimate feeling of the Academy Awards.
8:53 – Steve Martin and Tina Fey are presenting Best Original Screenplay and Best Adapted Screenplay. So hilarious. Tina Fey: “Steve, no one wants to hear about our religion.”
8:56 – Dustin Lance Black wins for Milk! An amazing speech and tribute to Harvey Milk.
8:59 – More Tina Fey and Steve Martin: “Don’t fall in love with me.” I love a good 30 Rock reference.
9:01 – Best Adapted Screenplay – Simon Beaufoy. It was only a matter of time that Slumdog Millionaire won an award.
9:03 – Jennifer Aniston and Jack Black presenting Best Animated.
(Please don’t pan to Brangelina. Please don’t pan to Brangelina. Please don’t pan to Brangelina. Please don’t pan to Brangelina.)
9:04 – This is how Jack Black makes movies “Every year I make a Dreamworks film and then I take the money and bet it on Pixar”.
9:06 – The video of this year’s animated pictures is where all the show’s money went.
9:07 – Wall-E wins! Andrew Stanton thanked his high school drama teacher for casting in him Hello Dolly.
9:08 – Best Animated Short – “The shorter your movie is, the shorter amount of time your Panda has to win the nation’s heart.” And a pan to Brangelina. She was in Kung Fu Panda so I guess that’s okay. I don’t have a clue what he said except for the last part.
9:14 – Erica has arrived to the viewing session. “Did I miss Robert Pattinson?” Someone has her priorities straight.
9:15 – More Hugh Jackman. I missed him.
9:16 – Horse Face and James Bond are presenting Best Art Direction. Benjamin Button wins. Which is good. I was really worried that it would go 0 for 13 and that would be embarassing.
9:19 – I am not liking this constant jazz music in the background. Quite annoying.
9:20 – Best Costume Design – The Duchess. Duh. When don’t period pieces like The Duchess win? “Keira Knightley. You are one classy lady.”
9:23 – Horse Face and James Bond still presenting – this time for Make-Up. Make-up doesn’t help your horse face, SJP. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. 2 for 13.
9:25 – Amanda Seyfried and R Pattz, who clearly thinks he is still playing a vampire. They are introducing a MONTAGE!
9:26 – I love montages. Romance! Set to Coldplay!
9:29 – “Don’t be mean to Robert. He got all his lines right and he combed his hair.” – Oh, Erica.
9:31 – Ben Stiller and Natalie Portman are presenting Best Cinematography. Or is that Joaquin Phoenix. “I just want to retire from being a funny guy.” And then Stiller wanders the stage while Portman is announcing the nominees. Amazing.
9:35 – Slumdog Millionaire wins Best Cinematography. 2 for 2.
9:36 – I could watch Ben Stiller as Joaquin Phoenix all day.
9:38 – Jessica Biel, talking about the Scientific and Technical Awards. What was that? You made me listen to Jessica Biel with no Hugh Jackman? Blasphemy!
9:42 – MONTAGE! Starring James Franco and Seth Rogan and Janusz Kamiński. “They made me do it Spielberg!”
9:46 – The three are presenting Best Live Action Short. Kaminski is the first DP to present an award and I love him for this: – “Suck on that, Mantle.” Haha. Spielzugland (Toyland) wins.
9:52 – “The musical is back ladies and gentleman.” Now Hugh Jackman is singing and dancing. And enter Beyonce. Way to ruin something good Beyonce. Seriously? What is the purpose of this? AND why must Beyonce sing “At Last” everywhere she goes? Why am I being subjected to Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgeons? AND WHY IS THERE A DRUMLINE? This is like musicals on steroids. Way to ruin West Side Story.
9:53 – Baz Luhrmann is responsible for this disaster. That explains so much. And congratulations, the musical was back and you just killed it again.
10:01 – Finally! Time for Best Supporting Actor. Christopher Walker, Kevin Kline, Cuba Gooding Jr., Alan Arkin and Joel Grey are presenting. Where’s Javier Bardem? I guess he’s busy… busy being sexy.
10:06 – “Seymour Philip Hoffman”? Nice once, Alan Arkin. Cuba Gooding Jr. ragging on Robert Downey Jr. That’s a good light-hearted moment before this part of the show becomes very sentimental.
10:07 – The award for Best Supporting Actor goes to Heath Ledger. A very touching speech.
10:11 – Now for a montage of Documentaries in 2008. It’s a good transition to Bill Maher presenting Best Documentary.
10:15 – Man on Wire wins!!!! I love Philippe Petit! “I’d like to thank the Academy for believing in magic.” And then he balanced the statuette on his chin! I love him.
10:17 – Best Short documentary goes to “Smile Pinkey”.
10:22 – Okay. I love montage. But there are seriously too many for my liking right now.
10:26 – Will Smith presenting for Outstanding Visual Effects: “Action movies have fans.” Word. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button wins again. 3 for 13. I knew they would all the technical stuff.
10:28 – Best Sound Editing: The Dark Knight.
10:31 – Slumdog Millionaire wins for Best Sound Mixing. Resul Pookutty is so cute.
10:33 – Will Smith: “Yes, they still have me here. I believe Hugh is napping.”
10:34 – Best Film Editing – Chris Dickens wins for Slumdog Millionaire.
10:40 – Fred: Maybe I’ll go make some popcorn during the next break.”
Me: “You’re not allowed to eat that in here.”
Fred: It’s my room.
Me: “So? It’s my Oscars.”
Clearly, we have lived together for too long.
10:41 – Hey, Eddie Murphy. I thought he was going to make some crack about not winning for Dreamgirls in ’06. But no, he’s presenting the Jean Hersholt award to Jerry Lewis.
10:44 – Um, more Coldplay. Really? That is too much sound for the first clips of Jerry Lewis. Nice speech Jerry Lewis. Short, sweet and to the point.
10:45 – And hour to go people. Will the show end before 11:45?
10:50 – Time for Best Score nominees.
10:54 – Alicia Keys and ZAC EFRON (No! No! No!) are presenting! Thank god he said practicaly nothing A.R. Rahman wins! Another award for Slumdog Millionaire!
10:55 – Here we go. BOLLYWOOD!
10:57 – And now the Bollywood dancers are performing with John Legend who is singing the song from Wall-E? Now I know why Peter Gabriel pulled out.
11:01 – Oh man. They are butchering this. So bad.
11:02 – “Jai Ho” wins!
11:05 – Best Foreign Language Film: Departures from Japan. WOAH! Everyone I’m watching this with is shocked by this.
11:11 – Queen Latifah is introducing the “In Memorium” segment. Hey. She’s singing! Okay I don’t care that Queen Latifah is singing! I want to see the video tribute! It’s making me dizzy.
11:15 – That was so irritating. You couldn’t read any of the names or what they did. And it made me dizzy.
11:18 – Jackman’s back. He should start wearing less clothes to liven up this telecast. Sid Ganis isn’t making a speech! Yes!
11:20 – Reese Witherspoon is presenting Best Director to… DANNY BOYLE! A lovely acceptance speech.
11:25 – Best Actress time. Sophia Loren, Shirley MacLaine, Halle Berry, Nicole Kidman and Marion Cotillard. This is one big cry fest. And Sophia Loren, I love you but you are one hot mess. A HOT mess.
11:31 – The Academy Award goes to (Oscar Gods please let it be Winslet)… Kate Winslet. It’s about damn time and she is going to freak out. I would freak out too if I got to hug
11:33 THE SOUND ON THE TV JUST CUT OUT DURING WINSLET’S SPEECH!
11:35 – Best speech of the night! I loved her dad whisteling to her. “I’m sorry Meryl Streep but you’re just going to have to suck it up.”
11:37 It’s Best Actor time – Robert DeNiro, Ben Kingsley, Anthony Hopkins, Adrien Brody (who has jumped on the Joaquin Phoenix train) and Michael Douglas are presenting. DeNiro: “How for so many years did Sean Penn get all those parts playing straight men?”
11:39 – Ellen on DeNiro and Penn: “I wonder if they are friends on facebook?”
11:42 – During Mickey Rourke’s introduction, Erica spots Robert Pattinson: “Robert! I love you. And Tina Fey!”
11:43 – Sean Penn wins. “I do know how I often I make it to appreciate me.” Well I’m glad because I didn’t want you to win this at all.
11:46 – But I guess if he’s going to talk about equal rights for everyone, I can’t hate him too much. And because he said this: “Mickey Rourke rises again and he is my brother.”
11:47 – Best Picture presented by Steven Spielberg. I do not agree with this interspersing of past Best Picture nominees during the Best Picture montage. There isn’t any point to it.
11:52 – Award goes to SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE. Those little kids are so cute.
11:55 – And it’s over! My only suggestion for next year is more shirtless Hugh Jackman. Good night!