What The Expendables Are Thinking (And Who Invited Kelsey Grammer?)

Everybody Dance Now

A new Expendables movie is like Christmas morning when you open your presents and wonder: “How the hell did you come up with this?” That’s basically what I thought as I watched the trailer for The Expendables 3: This Time With Young People Who Understand TechnologyThe Expendables is a who’s who from every action film and the trailer is, fittingly, a roll call. The familiar faces plus some new additions to the Expendables crew will bring more of the same absurd goodness to the big screen.

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Everything That Is Wonderful About The Expendables 2 Trailer

There is no rational explanation for my love of The Expendables. I tend to hate action films but The Expendables is just good, mindless entertainment. And so I love it. A lot.

This brings me to The Expendables 2, which hits theaters on August 17. I’m excited. It’s going to great. The latest trailer for The Expendables 2 is a glorious wonder filled with explosions, machine guns, and ridiculous dialogue. (What’s that Sly? A lucky ring? I hope it isn’t like Alaric’s ring on The Vampire Diaries because that wouldn’t be good.) Liam Hemsworth joins the cast, though I don’t know if he adds to anything to movie. But I don’t really care because every other star (Chuck Norris, Jean-Claude Van-Damme, Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenegger) will probably overshadow his presence.

Anyways, I have made a list of 15 (awesome) things about The Expendables 2 we should take away from this latest trailer. Enjoy.

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What I Learned From The Godfather: Part III

I have no idea why I watched The Godfather: Part III last night. Even though I own the trilogy and have seen the first two movies countless times (it is required viewing in my household), I always avoided watching the final installment. Probably because I was worried it would ruin the entire trilogy. The Godfather: Part III was as exactly as I expected. Mostly terrible. The plot isn’t engaging and truly horrendous performances overwhelm the film’s few good moments.

These are some of my stray observations about The Godfather: Part III. Continue reading “What I Learned From The Godfather: Part III”

Five Things About Footloose

I’ll be honest. I wasn’t expecting much from the remake of Footloose. If you read my ridiculous assumptions about the trailer based on the trailers, you probably already knew this. So when Ally and I (you know Ally; we have a podcast) decided to see Footloose, we went to mostly snark at it.  While the scene-for-scene remake is definitely snark worthy, there are some things worth mentioning about Footloose.

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What I Have Deciphered From The Footloose Trailers

Remakes of 80s movies are everywhere! Fright Night opens this weekend, which I admit looks like good fun. A new and improved Dirty Dancing is in the works, much to the chagrin of fans (including myself). And, behold! The first two trailers for Footloose have arrived on the scene. Luckily for you, I have analyzed them and I have figured out so much from them. Like the plot! You know, because I haven’t seen the original Footloose every time it is on TNT.

But you case you have never, ever seen Footloose, from the first trailer you get the very important backstory: a couple of drunk kids spent the night dancing away and then were killed by a train. Now everyone in Bomont has to suffer. Enter city kid Ren McCormack. He’s just trouble. The preacher’s daughter Ariel (she’s probably named after the Disney princess to switch it up from the original) wants to get into his pants. And the sinning teens just want to dance.

Here is what I have learned from this trailer:

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