What I Have Learned From Bella Swan (And Kristen Stewart Too)

This is the face Bella makes when her dad gives her “the talk”. I am going to do the same thing when my father finally gives me the talk.

Does Breaking Dawn: Part 2 really come out today? How did I miss that memo? Oh right…There was a hurricane and I didn’t have power for two weeks. I also don’t care. Logically, because I don’t care about this franchise, I just spent the last 48 hours watching all four Twilight movies. All. Four. Twilight. Movies.

Bella Swan is a fascinating character. I almost wish I had her guidance during high school instead of Manny Santos’s. I would have spent considerably less time contemplating getting bangs. So what did I learn from my crash course in the Twilight movies? Countless priceless lessons. There are absolutely zero spoilers in this post so please, read on.

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What I Learned From Mystic Pizza

When I was watching Mystic Pizza for the first time in many years, something occurred to me: this movie has nothing to do with pizza. Obviously the pizza is what I focused on when I was 10. But now I am much wiser and that pizza definitely does not look appetizing. It also helps that I understand what “nympho” means. All of this has allowed me to have a more nuanced reading of this great coming-of-age film. And so, this is what I learned from Mystic Pizza.

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What I Learned From Dirty Dancing

Dirty Dancing is one of my favorite movies. I have seen this movie so many times, it has probably become detrimental to my well-being. For example, I honestly believe it takes exactly three weeks to fall in love and learn to mambo. In real life, this is impossible because no matter what you will end up with spaghetti arms. As I was watching Dirty Dancing this past weekend for the one millionth time, I made some of the same old observations as well as some new discoveries. Here they are.

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10 Observations About The Hunger Games

I saw The Hunger Games Friday night in a packed NYC movie theater and it was an experience I don’t want to replicate any time soon. Not because the movie is bad. My issue is that I really hate crowds and disorganization. Although attending sold out screenings can be fun because you get see a popular movie with a hyped-up audience, these screenings make me uncomfortable. In seconds, people change from being (presumably) well-mannered individuals to lunatics with crazy eyes. I especially hate being corralled into a cramped corridor with people as they are plotting how to get the best seats.

In a weird way, this mentally prepared me to see The Hunger Games because I had to be stealthy to get a decent seat. I sprinted up a flight of stairs. I darted around slow moving people. I left my friends behind. Despite this experience, I rather enjoyed The Hunger Games. Katniss (Jennifer Lawrence) is bad ass, Peeta (Josh Hutcherson) is perfectly dreamy, and Gale (Liam Hemsworth Cyrus) is very… tall. These are some of my other thoughts on The Hunger Games.

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What I Learned From The Godfather: Part III

I have no idea why I watched The Godfather: Part III last night. Even though I own the trilogy and have seen the first two movies countless times (it is required viewing in my household), I always avoided watching the final installment. Probably because I was worried it would ruin the entire trilogy. The Godfather: Part III was as exactly as I expected. Mostly terrible. The plot isn’t engaging and truly horrendous performances overwhelm the film’s few good moments.

These are some of my stray observations about The Godfather: Part III. Continue reading “What I Learned From The Godfather: Part III”