What I Learned From In Time

When my friend asked me to see In Time with her, I went along. No questions asked. I’ll see anything. Good movies. Bad movies. Movies trying to convince that Justin Timberlake is the best actor to emerge from “The Mickey Mouse Club”. (That honor goes to J.C. Chasez. If you watch America’s Best Dance Crew you know why.)

Anyways, In Time is a sci-fi thriller set in 2161. (Wikipedia just told me this.) Humans are able to stop aging when they reach 25 but due to overpopulation, “living time” has replaced currency. You pay for everything in minutes, days, months, and years. In this system the rich can be immortal while the poor live day to day, struggling to get more time.

Justin Timberlake plays Will Salas, a 28-year-old who has lived his entire life in the ghetto. After helping 105-year-old Henry Hamilton escape local gangsters led by Alex Pettyfer, Hamilton gives Will his time (1000 years) and tells him to not waste it. Cue Will becoming some sort of Robin Hood, determined to destroy the system.  Along the way, Sylvia Weis (Amanda Seyfried) the daughter of a rich banker, joins Will. The pair become a knock-off Bonnie and Clyde, stealing from the rich and trying to evade timekeeper Raymond Leon (Cillian Murphy). Though In Time has an interesting concept (it was interesting enough to keep me engaged), it is executed rather poorly.

Here is what I learned.

Continue reading “What I Learned From In Time”

What I Learned From Red Riding Hood

I just saw Red Riding Hood and there are many, many thoughts swirling through my head.

Amanda Seyfried stars as the very period appropriately named Valerie, the movie’s version of Little Red Riding Hood. She lives in a secluded village that has been cursed by werewolf attacks for decade. But that’s hardly her biggest problem. Valerie is caught in a love triangle between Peter (Shiloh Fernandez), a woodcutter and Henry (Max Irons), a blacksmith. Things only get worse when the wolf attacks begin again and the maniacal Father Solomon (Gary Oldman) comes to the village to kill the wolf for good.

Needless to say it was a very interesting movie. Here is what I came up with.

A bit of foreshadowing, perhaps?

1. It’s a mini-Twilight!

Catherine Hardwicke, you have done it again. Within the first seconds of Red Riding Hood, I experience a bought of déjà vu. Sweeping overhead shots of trees? Kind of attractive, monotone actors? Star-crossed lovers? Long painful stares between said lovers? A supernatural element? Too many jumpy shots and flashbacks because the audience can’t put the pieces together on their own? Oh, great. It’s Twilight 2.0. It’s all fine though because there are enough differences to distinguish the two movies, namely there are fewer annoying actors in Red Riding Hood. And at least Hardwicke is  a consistent director.

2. Well, that’s phallic

There is a lot you can infer from the film’s visuals, sets, and props. For instance, the trees are adorned with very large, pointy thorns sticking out from the trunks as are the homes in the village. Gee, I wonder what those could be? Who needs men around when you have these tools to protect you? Don’t even get me started on that red cape and what it looks like when Valerie and her boy toy are getting cozy on it.

3. This village must have done something like really, really bad

Talk about a charming secluded mountain village with a low real estate value. The villagers have been tormented by a werewolf for decades. Only animal sacrifices seem to keep him subdued during the blood moon. When they think they finally kill the wolf, the villagers rejoice with a risqué celebration in the square. Valerie and Peter join in with the group dancing except it is just not with each other and not of the Pride and Prejudice variety. Valerie gets down with her friend to make Peter jealous. (How Mount Holyoke of you, girl!) It works and the two go off to hook up in some barn. Naturally, a wolf attack breaks up the village’s lewd behavior.

4. When Sirius Black rolls into town in a mid-century Popemobile, things are about to get messy

Gary Oldman’s sinister Father Solomon steals the movie with his love of Roman torture techniques, silver fingernails, and appreciation of red meat. He is also someone religious group can adore. During the battle scene following the villagers’ display of unchristian like behavior, he attacks the wolf shouting “God is stronger” over and over again. It’s a not quite so subtle message but also a largely ineffective one.

Have you seen my Popemobile?

5. Having multiple men pining after you comes in handy

The woodcutter or the blacksmith? Who will Valerie choose? Yeah, it’s about as interesting as it sounds. If only they had faced off by singing “Valerie“.

6. And when your relationships don’t work out, you can become a spinster in the woods.

All the single, independent ladies (okay, just Grandmother) get to live outside of the village. It’s a swanky house that is much nicer and more spacious than anything in the confines of the village. Plus, you get to wear colorful dresses, wear head pieces, rock some disheveled braids, and be totally awesome. Better yet, you get the luxury to think for yourself there.

Now put your hands up, Julie Christie!

7. Lukas Haas needs to be in every movie. Period.

The best moments of intentional comic relief only came with Haas’ Father August graced the screen. He needs to be in more movies asap.

8. Amanda Seyfried does it again

This movie has many flaws and is easy to mock but Seyfried’s natural charm and screen presence really helps it as it limps along. I’ve noticed that no matter the movie she is in (cough, Dear John, cough) Seyfried can usually keep a sinking ship afloat until the credits roll. Still, she deserves to be in better movies.

I can't believe I have to put up with this village.

Although Red Riding Hood has plenty of flaws and is very, very easy to pick apart, I was greatly amused by the movie and had fun during it. Have you checked out Red Riding Hood and, if so, what did you think? What beloved fairy tale should Catherine Hardwicke tackle and suds up next? And do you think Amanda Seyfried deserves better?

Trailer Fix: Red Riding Hood

The trailer for Catherine Hardwicke’s Red Riding Hood premiered yesterday. Did anyone else laugh at the extreme cheesiness of it? Thanks to Twilight, I don’t think I can take any movie about star-crossed lovers and supernatural beings seriously again.

Oh where to begin? The cast – Amanda Seyfriend, Gary Oldman, Virginia Madsen, and even Julie Christie – isn’t the problem. Neither is the plot. Werewolves are definitely one step above sparkly vampires. What works against Red Riding Hood is the extreme Twilight-esque qualities presented by the trailer and the poster .

Twilight is a brand. I know this. You know this. What I did not expect to happen, or maybe what I just never hoped would happen, is that it would become a never ending marketing ploy. “From the director of Twilight” really cheapens Hardwicke’s skill as a director. Remember Thirteen?

Red Riding Hood is also eerily reminding me of Twilight. And not just because the characters, the story, or the sweeping overhead pan shots of the scenery present throughout the trailer.

But because of the poster. Maybe I am seeing things. But there is something very suspicious about the promotional poster for Red Riding Hood and how the title character and her defining RED cape are centered in the poster. Just like that symbolic forbidden apple on the cover of Twilight.

I don’t think I need to spell it out for you any further than that.

Trailer Fix: Jennifer’s Body

The trailer for Jennifer’s Body, which stars Transformers‘ Megan Fox and Mamma Mia‘s Amanda Seyfried, has been released. While I was initially skeptical of a movie starring Megan Fox (I mean, can you blame me?), the trailer has convinced me that I will absolutely love Jennifer’s Body.

For starters, Jennifer’s Body was written by Juno scribe Diablo Cody. Say what you want about Juno, Cody knows how to write a smart, edgy and funny script that audiences will love. Also, not only is Adam Brody an agent of Satan with a really awesome haircut one of the stars, but Amy Sedaris is listed in the credits – win.

Here is the trailer:

The film’s plot line about a possessed high school cheerleader on a male killing spree reminds me of one of my favorite guilty pleasures, Ginger Snaps.

The comparison to Ginger Snaps, which is about a female teenager turned werewolf on a male killing sprees – it’s a metaphor for puberty! – gives me one more reason to see and love this movie. I am even willing to ignore the fact that many people will be tuning in to see Fox strip, that is how awesome Jennifer’s Body will be.


Introducing Amanda Seyfried

I am beyond excited for the film adaptation of Mamma Mia! to be released on July 18. One , it combines all the things I love: Meryl Streep, ABBA, musicals, movies, and Colin Firth.

But I also think this movie is going to be Amanda Seyfried’s breakthrough film role.

Some of you might remember her as Karen, the stupid blonde in Mean Girls. It is one of the best portrayals of the stereotypical dumb blonde character.

Seyfried has also appeared on several television shows, most notably as Lilly Kane on Veronica Mars and Sarah Hendrickson on Big Love.

This final video is of Seyfried performing “Gimme, Gimme, Gimme (A Man After Midnight)” for Mamma Mia!


This movie, along with her role in Jennifer’s Body (written by Diablo Cody), almost guarantee that Amanda Seyfried will have a breakthrough year.