About That Fifty Shades of Grey Trailer

Leave it to Fifty Shades of Grey to pull me out of my self-imposed blogging exile. I’ve watched the trailer a few times now and I… I just… I have some thoughts. For starters:

This is Zoe Kazan.

50 Shades of Grey 1

This is a white guy.

He wears suits.

He has a helicopter.

She has… well I’m sure she has hobbies and friends and something exciting going on in her life that is equally as exciting as that helicopter. Perhaps she enjoys scarves as evidenced by the one time she is seen wearing a scarf.

There is also an elevator.

But this is not Grey’s Anatomy.

Oh.

So.

Well, Beyonce is on board with this movie so I guess it’s fine.

The end.

Fifty Shades of Grey hits theater February 13. Your mom will ask you to go with her. Don’t.