What These Character Posters Tell Us About Melancholia

Lars von Trier’s latest film Melancholia opens in November. So far the reviews of this apocalyptic drama have been generally positive and I am excited to see it when I can. But until then, I’ve decided to throw logic to wind and guess what could happen in Melancholia by solely judging the character posters. (Sidebar: If any of this actually happens in Melancholia, then I deserve a million dollars… or a pony.)

Here it goes.

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Fashion Face Off: Dunst vs. Witherspoon

This is a shocking moment in Red Carpet Fashion. More shocking than Jennifer Lopez’s grammy dress (you know the one that left little to the imagination.) Are you ready for this travesty?

Reese Witherspoon has learned that the dress she wore to the Golden Globe Awards is the same dress that Kirsten Dunst wore to the 2003 GG Awards. Did you follow that?

Witherspoon wore Dunst’s 2003 gown.

Reese Witherspoon was horrified when she learnt that the gown designed for her for the Golden Globe Awards had been worn by Kirsten Dunst in 2003.

Witherspoon, who won Best Actress for Walk The Line, wore a white-and-silver ‘vintage’ Chanel dress only to learn later that it had been recycled. (dun dun dun)

Witherspoon’s representative Nancy Ryder is said to have vowed not to accept anything from Chanel again, or let her other clients, including Jennifer Lopez and Renee Zellweger, wear anything from the French couture house.

‘Reese was told the dress was vintage. It was not. I’m not angry — just a little disappointed. But the big deal is Reese won the Golden Globe,’ she was quoted by the New York Post as saying.

Because I am totally on Team Reese, I refuse to ever buy/wear anything from Chanel. They’re gonna miss my business! All sarcasm aside, the whole story is ridiculous and I find it to be really humorous. What is ironic is how Reese looks pretty in the dress while Kirsten looks like a little girl. I have nothing left to add because I’m laughing so hard.