5 Days of Christmas Movies: Miracle on 34th Street (1947)

4. A Movie About Cynical Jerks Who Try To Ruin Christmas

Like many children, the first holiday movie I remember watching is Miracle on 34th Street. It is one the best ways to introduce classic, black and white films to kids. But it has been years since last saw this movie and aside from Natalie Wood’s adorable precociousness (she’s the 1947 version of Suri’s Burn Book), I couldn’t recall what actually happened. I somehow missed that Miracle on 34th Street is in fact a commentary on how crabby white men ruin everything with their pesky trials.

On that note, here are some other things to take away from Miracle on 34th Street. You know, aside from spreading holiday cheer, why you should be generous and that Santa Claus really does exist.

1. Always trust elderly men with whiskers who tells you they are Santa Claus. Kris Kringle is not crazy. He’s sweet, charming and just wants kids to be kids. What’s wrong with that?

If you listen to Kris Kringle, you'll also get an elementary introduction to the concept of nation-states.

2. If your mother works for a major department store, it may be best to ignore her sometimes. She doesn’t want you to have any curiosity because she once believed in love. And now she’s a bitter divorcee. So good luck hashing those issues out with your therapist in 30 years.

"Listen Susan, I divorced your dad and now I'm bitter. So you also can't enjoy anything."

3. Hey Susan. See that bachelor lawyer in the apartment across the hall? Use your precocious ways to get him to hook up with your mom. He’ll also be useful when the District Attorney decides to crush the dreams of children and tell them there is no Santa Claus.

Now you have a shot at being a normal kid.

4. The government has always wasted the public’s time. Also lawyers and psychologists are jerks.

To think of all the other events that were ignored because of this trial...

5. The U.S. Postal Service saves the day! It’s hilarious that an endless number of letters to Santa Claus save Kris Kringle from being legally declared a crazy person. Nowadays, so many people knock the postal service but they shouldn’t. Because the postal service saved Christmas.

In just a few years, the presence of letters and the post office will confuse the young children watching this movie.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day! Watch The Quiet Man!

Celebrate St. Patrick’s Day by watching The Quiet Man, tonight at 8pm on Turner Classic Movies.

Also airing tonight as apart of TCM’s five-film Irish celebration: Young Cassidy, Shake Hands with the Devil, My Left Foot and Three Cheers for the Irish