It’s Britney Bitch

Last night, I went to see Britney Spears live in concert at the Prudential Center in Newark, NJ. 

What an experience it was. Going to see a Britney concert has been a dream of mine since I was younger. Since I went to a Spice Girls concert last year, I’m just reliving my middle school days as a 20-year old college student. I realize now though that I should aim higher, and never attend a Britney concert again.

Before the concert, when my friends and I were waiting on line, the most hilarious thing happened. Someone asked the two girls waiting behind us: “Is will call this way?” The girls didn’t know and after this person walked away the geniuses said: “Why was she asking us about will call? I don’t know who that is.” I should have known then that I didn’t belong at a Britney Spears concert.

The concert began with the Pussycat Dolls as the opening act. I spent most of their performance just observing the people around me and pondering how feminism has failed. Normally a like the PCD, at least their music. “Don’t Cha” is a catchy pop song. But seeing them perform live is a whole other story. I’m sorry. But watching a half-dressed girl group bop around and grind on stage, is not appealing. I was embarrassed to even be watching them.

So in a million years, I never thought that I would want Britney Spears to save me from the Pussycat Dolls. When they performed their remake of “Jai Ho” from Slumdog Millionaire, I walked out. By the way Nicole Scherzinger, it is pronounced ja-EYE-ho, not ja-EIGH-ho. It’s the least you can do if you’re going to turn a good song bad.

I returned to my seat when Britney’s part of show began. Here is my main problem with the show. The stage was set up like a three ring circus, which is a really cool idea considering it is the Circus tour. But round stages never, ever work. For about half of the concert, I couldn’t see a goddamn thing. Also I’m blind as a bat and there wasn’t a jumbo tron. So Britney looked like a blond-haired speck gyrating across the stage.

The opening, when she performed “Circus” and “Piece of Me” was incredible. Britney Spears is a great performer; she puts the PCD to shame. But after that, the concert (as with most arena concerts) was all about the spectacle. Not that that is necessarily a bad thing, but with the stage set up the way it was, you really were watching only about half of a concert. After the opening, the concert went down hill and frankly, was boring. And a Britney Spears concert should not be boring. I ended leaving before the end, when she performed some of her classic songs (“Hit Me Baby One More Time”) but my friend told me I didn’t miss much.

Overall this was a miserable experience. I don’t know. I guess I prefer Britney Spears, the joke to Britney Spears, the performer. Or maybe I wasn’t drunk enough. Or maybe I have been attending a women’s college for too long to be able to attend public events where girls dress like tramps, only to stand in place and bop around to “Oops I did it Again”. I’m glad I went because if I never went to a Britney concert I would always wonder “what if”. But I’ll never go again.

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