A new Expendables movie is like Christmas morning when you open your presents and wonder: “How the hell did you come up with this?” That’s basically what I thought as I watched the trailer for The Expendables 3: This Time With Young People Who Understand TechnologyThe Expendables is a who’s who from every action film and the trailer is, fittingly, a roll call. The familiar faces plus some new additions to the Expendables crew will bring more of the same absurd goodness to the big screen.
“One more movie. Until 2016.”
“I don’t have time for this shit again.”
“Paycheck. Paycheck. Paycheck.”
“We all know I’m the star.”
“I know. What am I doing here?”
“Who invited these kids?”
“Seriously. Who invited these kids?”
“I’m not a sparkly vampire! I’m real boy!”
“They needed a girl.”
“I do not own a shirt.”
“They couldn’t get Clint.”
“Choppa. I’ll be back. I never get new lines.”
My only question is: Are we sure this be the final Expednables movie? Certainly this is one conservative floating around Hollywood who needs a job.
Oh and there are absurd character posters too. (I’m obsessed with Harrison Ford’s poster.) Let’s hope The Expendables 3 is just as ridiculous as the first two movies. But with more Dolph Lundgren. Every movie should have more Dolph.