What The Expendables Are Thinking (And Who Invited Kelsey Grammer?)

Everybody Dance Now

A new Expendables movie is like Christmas morning when you open your presents and wonder: “How the hell did you come up with this?” That’s basically what I thought as I watched the trailer for The Expendables 3: This Time With Young People Who Understand TechnologyThe Expendables is a who’s who from every action film and the trailer is, fittingly, a roll call. The familiar faces plus some new additions to the Expendables crew will bring more of the same absurd goodness to the big screen.

Stallone Expendables

“One more movie. Until 2016.”

Statham Expendables “I don’t need to be here.”

Banderas Expendables“Almodovar didn’t need me this year.”

Li Expendables

“I don’t have time for this shit again.”

Snipes Expendables

“Paycheck. Paycheck. Paycheck.”

Lundgren Expendables

“We all know I’m the star.”

Grammer Expendables

“I know. What am I doing here?”

Crews Expendables

“Who invited these kids?”

Couture Expendables

“Seriously. Who invited these kids?”

Lutz Expendables

“I’m not a sparkly vampire! I’m real boy!”

Rousey Expendables

“They needed a girl.”

Powell Expendables “I almost wasn’t included in this post because Joanna doesn’t know who I am.”

Ortiz Expendables

“I do not own a shirt.”

Gibson Expendables

“They couldn’t get Clint.”

Ford Expendables “This is how it’s done.”Schwarznegger Expendables

“Choppa. I’ll be back. I never get new lines.”

My only question is: Are we sure this be the final Expednables movie? Certainly this is one conservative floating around Hollywood who needs a job.

Oh and there are absurd character posters too. (I’m obsessed with Harrison Ford’s poster.) Let’s hope The Expendables 3 is just as ridiculous as the first two movies. But with more Dolph Lundgren. Every movie should have more Dolph.

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